What brought me to Redeemer Counseling was that I was in a state of very high and constant anxiety as well as depression. I was at a point in my life that something needed to change. I grew up hearing that people went to counseling but when it came to church culture it meant someone did something bad or in my eyes it seemed like a form of punishment or discipline. In my culture counseling is not something that is talked about or encouraged, it is almost seen as a sign of weakness. I felt God prompting me consistently to seek counseling and I started my search until I found RCS.

My counselor was amazing from day one in encouraging me to tell my story beginning to end. Those first few sessions we laughed and cried together upon the realization of everything I had been through.

Just the exercise of telling my story from beginning to end helped me realize issues, traumas, and areas that I had to work on. I am not going to lie it was not easy. Therapy got really rough before it got really good, but Annie was with me the entire journey.

It was such a blessing to be able to talk to someone that was of the faith but was not in my circle of people. Churches often offer counseling, but it is always someone you know. A lot of my issues came from my family and church life, but I was the daughter of two leaders and was also a leader in my home church. So doing counseling in my church was not something I felt comfortable doing as I had gone through some situations that to be honest, I was not ready for anyone in my church to know about.

Counseling was my refuge, an oasis where I could start to unpack years of trauma, generational issues, dig into my family of origin and really find out who Adriana was since I really did not know the answer. I felt numb, heavy, and sad at this point in my life. I was known to always have a big smile and a bubbly personality but inside I was struggling a lot, and I did not want to be a burden for anyone. I did everything and anything that people expected me to do and was a huge people pleaser. I was a busy body, I slept very little or even sometimes not at all, I suffered from a lot of anxiety and panic attacks.

I did not enjoy spending time with by myself because I did not like myself and I knew that it needed to change. I knew it was not how my life was meant to be.

Counseling provided me with the safe space to be vulnerable and the tools to do the work such as taking scheduled alone time, working out and meditating. The bonus was that it was faith-based, and Annie understood my struggles with my faith and issues I had growing up. I looked forward to running out of work on Friday’s, hop on the F train to go to my session. When things got bad during the week, I knew I just needed to make it to Friday to be able to process and unpack my emotions in a safe space. I started counseling about 7 months before the pandemic and was so grateful I did because the hurdles of life just continued to pile on. I went through some extremely traumatic situations during the first year of the pandemic in which I know I would not have been able to get through had I not been in counseling.

Through the three years I was in counseling I saw the change in my anxiety and depression go from debilitating to completely manageable. 

My Colombian background is just like in the movie Encanto there are several layers in my family of origin. I traveled a month ago today to Colombia to the funeral services for my 93-year-old grandmother. I prepared myself to use all my coping mechanisms to face this time of grief with my family. My father was not able to travel with me due to him having just finished 10 cycles of aggressive chemotherapy which was another hurdle I am still going through with my family.

One night I went out with 5 out of my 7 male cousins and yes, I am the only girl. We spoke well into the night about how in our own ways each of us have looked for counseling to deal with different needs we each had growing up. We were able to discuss the emotional and mental health of our parents and how them not dealing with their issues was starting to affect them physical which was a very similar story for my grandmother. We spoke about how we wanted to change our family story and how the buck stopped with us because we could not take it anymore. To give you more background I am the only believer out of all my cousins.

During these conversations my cousin’s noticed the change in me. They said there was such a peace, calmness and even “Chillness” that they had not seen in me even in comparison to when my grandfather died 15 years ago and how I had dealt with our family dynamics then. They said they noticed my boundaries and how I made sure they were clear and stuck to them. Which in my family is a foreign concept. I told them I did therapy and did the hard work that came with it. I had to make the changes in my life, and they were not always easy, but I was able to do it with God’s help. I shared with them that I needed God’s grace to feel all the emotions that came with bringing healing to areas in my life. This included situations in which I may not have had a direct say in, but it caused collateral damage due to family dynamics. I am going to be honest I know that from that conversation there will be breakthrough in my family, and I know for a fact that those conversations would not have happened had I not done the work in and out of therapy. 

So, who is Adriana? She is a person who has joy in her life, loves good food, take walks, loves to run. Who knew? God knew! I am comfortable in my own skin to the point that I even learned to embrace this silver curls that God has naturally given me. I have truly seen God’s grace in motion, and I can’t wait to journey with other people as I start my practice as a Health Coach this year.

To end, I want to say thank you to all of you who have supported and continue to support Redeemer Counseling. I do want to say what a blessing the sliding scale is.  It truly was a game changer to be able to afford counseling on a weekly basis while working and being a Full-time grad student. Thank you because you are opening the opportunity for other people to heal during such a huge mental crisis, we are currently living in.

Thank you because Redeemer Counseling changed my life… no it saved my life, and I am forever grateful.