We are no strangers to brokenness and pain. Many people we encounter have experienced deep loss, betrayal, abuse and trauma. Their pain becomes a lens by which they experience the world and relationships. All of our experiences, both good and bad, not only shape the way we see ourselves, others, and God, it creates a well-learned pathway for the ways we show up in this world.

As we help people process grief, loss and hard memories, we should learn to look at more than just the painful event to how the person experienced the event and what they considered to be the most hurtful part of it. The trigger is often not the event itself but how other people around reacted to it, especially people the person thought they could trust. As we counsel others, if we avoid their pain and the details surrounding the event, we will not be able to unlock deeper healing or greater understanding for why seemingly unrelated events still trigger them now.

This toolkit will help you see the bigger picture to unlock layers of pain.